just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
