i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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