He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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