Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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