Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
