my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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