If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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