ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
