I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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