stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize