I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize