cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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