Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
