I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
