did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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