I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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