guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I need moral support for this bender
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize