I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
