I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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