so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
