Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.