I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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