Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
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Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009