so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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