Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
