I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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