..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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