too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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