but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
