He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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