This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize