It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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