shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
