Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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