That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
