giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
