Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
