I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
