youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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