GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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