gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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