You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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