Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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