It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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