The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think my vagina is haunted
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
