So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
