We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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