the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
