dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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