I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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