Can Purell be used as lube?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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