WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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