does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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