NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
