she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
barbara walters just said penis...
this boner is exhausting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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