About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
