I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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