I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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