Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize