Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
