I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
