you traded sex for a burrito?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
