never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
